By Krissy Regan The Wellness Poet
How do we Mindfully Prepare for the arrival of our New-born?
I would say that in life some things go to plan, and many things don’t go to plan. This is certainly true for having a baby as much as anything else in life. As much as I tried to plan my pregnancy, what my life with a baby would be like, and what kind of mother I would be, none of these plans eventuated in the way I had thought. But don’t be frightened, hindsight is an amazing thing and in hindsight I can see that my journey to motherhood was right for me. I’ve learned so many things in retrospect, in some ways I’m grateful things ended up the way they did, regardless of how imperfect they were.
Here are my top tips for preparing for your New-born
- Don’t compare your pregnancy, labour, birth or new-born to anyone else’s, just focus on you and your baby.
- Know that some women will give birth naturally and others will not. There is no shame or stigma. A baby is a baby and your baby is important, as are you.
- Some women may experience PTSD as a result of their experience, and some may suffer Post-natal Depression. Once again don’t judge yourself or anyone else, your experience is your experience and you must honour your feelings and seek support whenever you need it.
- Practical preparations and Nesting are as important as Mental and Emotional preparations. It’s an emotional time, and sleep deprivation causes mental exhaustion as well as physical. Whilst its necessary to focus on the practical side of mothering it’s equally important to be aware of the impact on your well-being. Sleep, Stress Management, Emotional Support, Nourishing Food and Kindness are fundamental to help you on your journey as a Mum.
- Some women may have help on hand, and have very supportive partners. Some women may have limited support and carry all the responsibility of caring for the baby on their own. Understanding how you will cope with the workload depending on your circumstances is important. Asking for help, being kind to yourself and having reasonable expectations of yourself is really important.
I’m a Mum of two girls aged 7 and 3, conceived through IVF (not my plan obviously), and both my babies had to be delivered at 36 weeks due to complications. The first baby was taken to special care, the second baby I managed to avoid special care. Both delivered by C-section and I had no immediate family on hand to help me. I spent much of my time alone caring for my new-born. My husband helped with some of the practical stuff, but the mental and emotional part of caring for my well-being were not his strengths. I felt like I was literally holding the responsibility of keeping my baby alive all on my own. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted while at the same time flooded with blissful love for my baby.
Our partners will support us in the way that they know how, unless we can properly communicate what we need, and they are open to supporting our needs, as well as our babies. I would encourage you to discuss this with your partner before your baby arrives and then on-going. Your needs; emotionally, mentally and physically will change day to day, just like a baby. Try not to bare all the responsibility on yourself if you can help it. Seek support, be honest with yourself and others and state what you need. If it feels hard to say it verbally try writing it down.
The most important thing for your baby is that YOU are healthy, loved and cared for. Your baby will benefit as much as you will. Take some time to think about a self-care plan for you and your partner. Take some time to discuss your feelings each day and take some time to appreciate everything you do have. In time you can reflect on what you learned and what the experience has bought to your life. It’s your journey!
Krissy Regan is The Wellness Poet and Founder of Mindful Mums Queensland. She is author of 3 new books;
Broken to Unbreakable, 12 Steps to an Unbreakable Mind, Body & Spirit.
The Koala who Lost his Heart.
Bobby, a Horse who teaches a young girl how to Love.
Krissy wrote these books whilst working part-time at home, raising 2 small children and juggling the demands of her household.
Krissy offer’s workshops, retreats and 1-1 coaching and launched her global online wellness school at the start of 2021. You can register right here; https://krissy-regans-wellness-movement-mindful-mums-3.teachable.com/
You can contact Krissy Regan at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow Mindful Mums Qld on Facebook and Instagram @mindfulmumsqld and view Krissy’s work here: https://www.thewellnesspoet.com/