Only For Me
I totally understand that the thought of something terrible happening to your precious child can be too much to bear. Sometimes its easier to tell yourselves that nothing like ‘that’ will ever happen to your child. Sometimes it’s easier to believe that no one in your circle of friends and family would ever deliberately hurt or abuse your child. Sometimes you just want to bury your head in the sand rather than think about the horrific evil in the world. I get it – I used to feel like that too!
However, the sad truth is that we are putting our kids at risk with this attitude and that we as parents instead need to confront the sad reality of childhood sexual abuse in our society. As the primary caregivers of our children, we have a responsibility to educate ourselves, so that we can in turn empower and educate our children on protecting their body and their privacy.
My epiphany came about one night when I was out for dinner with some friends. On this night I heard about two young children who’d been being sexually abused by children their own age. In both cases, the incidents took place on playdates, whilst the mums chatted and the children supposedly played. In the first case, 7 year old *Jake was brave enough to disclose the abuse to his mum on the way home from the park. In the second case *Kylie’s mothers intuition kicked in and she decided to check on the 9 year old boys in the toilets, only to discover the abuse.
When I heard these stories I was totally shocked. I had no idea that my children were at risk of abuse by their own peers and nor did I ever imagine that abuse could take place whilst I was essentially supervising my own child. As the ‘shock’ subsided, determination set in, and I began researching the reality of childhood sexual abuse:
According to the Australian Institute of Criminology’s website 11% of girls and 5% of boys will report being sexually abused by the time they’re 15. Statistically, this means that in an average primary school of 329 kids, 36 girls and 18 boys will report being sexually abused before the age of 15 years. Whilst this statistics sound shocking – the sad truth is that they represent just the tip of the iceberg, as we know so much abuse goes unreported.
And whilst most parents ensure that they teach their child about stranger danger, what they don’t realise is that when it comes to childhood sexual abuse an overwhelming 90% of victims will be abused by someone they know.
Even more difficult to comprehend, is that in approximately half of these cases the child will actually be abused by a family member (either a parent, step-parent, grandparent, aunty, uncle, sibling or cousin). Whilst the other half will be abused by a neighbour, friend or an acquaintance otherwise known to them.
I know these statistics are awful and even as I type them my stomach churns at the thought of all these beautiful children being preyed upon. However, I know that they are something that need to be faced, so as parents we can fully understand why it is so important to empower and educate our children about protective behaviours.
For more information on how to go about having protective behaviour conversations with young children, you can read my series of Kiddipedia blogs or go to www.onlyforme.com.au
*Names have been changed for privacy.
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