Kiddipedia
For years, we believed that academic intelligence—high grades, strong test scores, and intellectual ability—was the key to success and happiness. If a child excelled in math and reading, they were set for life, right?
But groundbreaking research by Dr. Daniel Goleman and others has debunked this myth. In a study of Harvard graduates across various professional fields, Goleman found zero correlation between IQ scores and career success. In fact, some of the highest academic achievers struggled the most in their professional and personal lives.
So what truly predicts success? Emotional Intelligence (EQ)—the ability to manage emotions, navigate stress, and build strong relationships. Research suggests that IQ accounts for only 4–25% of a person’s success, meaning up to 96% of success is driven by emotional and interpersonal skills.
And yet, we fail to teach these critical life skills in schools. Mental health education remains little more than an afterthought, even as anxiety, depression, and burnout skyrocket among young people. It’s time for a shift—because just as we teach kids to read and write, we must also teach them how to handle their minds, emotions and challenges.
1. Emotional Intelligence Shapes Life Success
Think of a child who struggles with frustration, anxiety, or self-doubt. If they don’t learn how to regulate their emotions, their academic success will mean little in the real world. Studies show that EQ is a stronger predictor of success than raw intelligence—affecting leadership, resilience, relationships, and even physical health.
Yet, most schools focus only on intellectual development. We train students to solve equations but not to solve internal struggles. We prepare them for exams but not for handling setbacks, conflicts, or uncertainty.
How to Start:
✔️ Incorporate mindfulness and self-regulation techniques into daily routines.
✔️ Teach kids the correct, evidence-based techniques to navigate strong emotions, stress, disappointment, conflict and change.
✔️ Model emotional intelligence—get the right skills for yourself as a parent or teacher and demonstrate self-awareness, empathy, and clear communication.
2. Resilience Is a Skill, Not Just a Trait
We assume some kids are just “naturally resilient.” But resilience is built, not born. It comes from learning how to manage challenges, reframe setbacks, and self-soothe in difficult moments.
Without these skills, small struggles can feel like insurmountable failures. Rejection, academic stress, or social challenges can spiral into anxiety and avoidance. But with the right mental tools, setbacks become stepping stones instead of stopping points.
How to Start:
✔️ Teach kids how to pause, breathe, and respond—rather than react to stress.
✔️ Encourage them to see failure as feedback, not a verdict on their worth.
✔️ Normalise conversations around self-compassion and self-trust.
3. Emotional Health Should Be Taught Like Any Other Subject
We don’t wait for a child to fail a test before we teach them how to read. Yet, we often wait until a crisis—a panic attack, burnout, or depression—before offering mental health support. This reactive approach leaves young people unprepared for life’s inevitable challenges.
What if, instead, mental health was woven into education from the start? What if kids grew up learning how to:
✔️ Regulate their emotions in healthy and helpful ways
✔️ Manage stress well
✔️ Cultivate a growth mindset
✔️ Manage their thoughts in skilful ways
✔️ Communicate their needs clearly and calmly
These are the real success skills. The ones that will carry them through relationships, careers, and personal growth long after they forget their algebra equations.
How to Start:
✔️ Implement daily mindfulness breaks in schools.
✔️ Encourage journaling and reflective conversations about mental health.
✔️ Teach them the practical skills to self-regulate and encourage regular practice.
✔️ Teach kids that mental fitness is as important as physical fitness.
The Bottom Line: Mental Health Is Not Optional
The research is clear: Emotional intelligence determines success far more than IQ. Yet, we continue to neglect mental health education—leaving kids without the tools they need to handle stress, navigate setbacks, and cultivate resilience.
Just as we prioritise academic literacy, it’s time to prioritise emotional literacy. Because the ability to self-regulate, adapt, and stay mentally strong isn’t just important—it’s essential.
If this resonates, think about steps you can take to support better mental health for the kids in your life. Let’s start building a world where mental health skills are as fundamental as reading and writing, and where all children grow up with the skills they need to thrive, succeed and live a meaningful and fulfilling life.
Melli O’Brien is a best-selling author and internationally renowned mental health educator and coach. She has spent nearly two decades helping people develop mental strength and her work has helped over a million people. She was recently named one of the most powerful women in the mindfulness movement by mindful magazine. Her new book, Deep Resilience, shares a simple four-step method to break free from stress and unlock unshakable inner strength. You can find more at www.melliobrien.com
