Kiddipedia
It’s not easy being pregnant or having new children (or older children for that matter.) Our emotions go on a roller coaster of ups and downs, and we can be left wondering what is happening to us.
For me, the newborn fog has just lifted and I’m out of that ‘ fourth-trimester’ cocoon. Unfortunately, I don’t always feel like a butterfly who has blissfully metamorphosed. I’ll be honest, sometimes I am in an emotional heap on the floor, wings flapping amidst the ever-growing pile of laundry, wondering what has become of my life and sanity!
(Motherhood, that’s what – in all its joy and rawness.)
Why you are going on an emotional rollercoaster
Plainly put, you and your body are going through one of the most significant times of change in your life – and in such a short period of time.
While I’d like to blame it all on hormones, there are lots of factors at play. Your hormones play a very significant role in your emotional journey through transitioning to motherhood. Hormones affect your memory, self-control and your mood[i]. With the dramatic rise in both progesterone and estrogen in pregnancy and the crash of them after birth, no wonder your moods and emotions are so affected.
Aside from hormones, you are sleep deprived (read, completely and utterly exhausted!), your body is changing and recovering. You are likely feeling worry, stress or concern about various things – your baby, how your other children are adjusting to this change, your relationship, finances, your job and so on.
It’s truly a lot to take in.
What can you do about your emotional swings?
Acknowledge how you are feeling.
Name it. It can be hard to do this – as often we may know what we’re thinking, but not necessarily what feeling underpins those thoughts. However, if you can know how it is that you’re feeling, you’re in a better position to ask for help or develop strategies to help you respond. Plus, when you understand your feelings, you can meet the fellow mums in your village with empathy, as they go through their own emotional ups-and-downs (and this is truly the power of the village.)
It’s good to remember that emotions are complex and aren’t usually isolated. Often emotions are covers or masks for underlying emotions – for example, anger could be a cover for fear, distance a cover for insecurity or vulnerability.
Practice non-judgement.
When you become mindful or consciously aware of what you’re feeling, try not to beat yourself up for feeling that way. It is what it is. Now you know what it is you’re feeling, you can get help.
What do you need right now?
Ask yourself what you need right now. For example, do you need comfort, support, fresh air, food, sleep, etc? Or maybe you don’t need anything at all, a simple acknowledgement of your feeling might be all you need. Once you know what you need, you are now in a better position to respond. And remember, it’s not a display of weakness to ask for help.
For example, if you feel lonely, you may need to call a friend or a family member for a chat or look for a local mother’s group to join. If you’re tired, maybe you need to nap while the baby is sleeping. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about all the washing and housework you need to do, maybe you can arrange help in cleaning the house. Maybe you need to go outside for fresh air or a walk to get the feel-good hormones going. Or go down to the local café to chat with the staff if you’re craving adult conversation. Or maybe simply a release of your emotions through a big cry is enough.
Know that experiencing emotional swings during pregnancy and after the birth of your child is normal. But in the event that the downs are ongoing for more than two weeks, or you notice that your partner or fellow-mum friends are experiencing downs for more than two weeks, please reach out for professional help as you may be experiencing post-natal depression. You can receive help at PANDA (https://www.panda.org.au/) or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
[i] http://pregnancyandbaby.com/fallback/articles/939877/mother-nurture-the-hormones-of-motherhood
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