Family Focused Fathers

Family Focused Fathers

As we enter February, perhaps you’re a man whose New Year’s Resolutions are already a distant memory. Or perhaps you’re someone who doesn’t believe in Resolutions as “they never work anyway.”

I understand. I’ve been in both camps before.

However, here’s what I’ve come to realize. The reason most of us either fail in our New Years Resolutions or don’t even bother with them in the first place, is because we want them to be huge and amazing.

We want our New Years resolutions to be like, “Get into the best shape of my life, make a million dollars before the year is out or get that promotion I’ve always wanted.”

You might be wondering, “Well, what’s wrong with that? Isn’t that what most people do?”

Yes! And that’s often why over 90% of people fail with their New Years’ Resolutions or they end up never setting them in the first place.

Here’s what I’d recommend instead.

Set smaller, more manageable New Years Resolutions.

For example, if you want to address your health, maybe resolve to go to the gym twice a week for the next 3 months and then re-evaluate.

See how that’s more manageable.

You’re not setting yourself up for failure by planning for the whole year. After all, most of us don’t know what’s going to happen in our lives next week.

You’re also not tying yourself to a particular goal or target that is out of your control, which makes it easier to fail.

Instead, you’re setting a resolution that is manageable and easy to achieve. That’s the key part.

You want to set yourself up for success, not failure. Sometimes, that means setting smaller goals first.

Of course, as man, you might say, “But that seems too easy. I need a bigger goal!”

That’s awesome. Prove to yourself that the smaller goal really is easy. Crush it! Exceed target and then set another goal once you get there. Nobody said you can only set goals and resolutions once a year.

It’s your year. You can set goals whenever you want.

Can you use this Easy Goal Setting approach to make you a better father?

You bet!

Most men who set goals often do so in the area of their career and forget to include goals for their role as a father. Of course, if you ask them, they’ll say, “I want to be the best father I possibly can.”

The problem is, how do you measure that? How do you know you’re being better today than you were yesterday?

After all, none of us are perfect fathers. We’re all a work in progress. The key thing is to track and measure that progress.

So, instead of saying you want to be the best father you can be, ask yourself, “what’s one thing you can do to measure your progress as a dad?”

For me, I want to hug my kids more often. Sounds simple right? Yet when I set that as a goal, here’s what I have to do.

  1. I have to be home more often. I can’t give my kids a hug if I’m always on the other end of a phone line or only getting home after they’re in bed.
  2. I have to be more present with my kids. They won’t want to hug dad if they think dad has other priorities.
  3. I have to leave the pressures of work behind me, before I walk in the door. The kids won’t come anywhere near me if they think dad is always walking around angry and upset!

Now, if I’m spending more time with my kids, being more present and increasing the quality of the time I spend with my kids, will I end up being a better dad?

You bet I will! I can’t fail.

The same is true for you.

Set yourself a smaller, easier goal to achieve as a father. Make sure you can track and measure it more easily and I guarantee that if you focus on the smaller (and often easier) things, you’ll end up being the kind of dad you want to be in 2020, guaranteed!

 

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