Kiddipedia
By Rachel Favilla
This is a time for the history books kiddlets. In just a few short years, we’ll be looking back and saying ‘gee, I haven’t heard from my mate Rona for a while’.
The markets will bounce back.
New jobs will be created and old ones will be reinstated.
Many folks will have learned to cook, because they couldn’t dine at restaurants.
We’ll have a new appreciation for the things we once took for granted. Like hugging, sitting next to people and spending longer than 30 minutes at the hairdresser (what a confronting 24-hours it was when that short-lived ruling came into play).
The way I see it, life has handed us one Mother of a sour lemon. We now have the opportunity to get our Mary Poppins on and add a spoonful of sugar to help the predicament go down.
What’s my sour lemon?
Was I heartbroken that gyms had to close? Damn Skippy I was. I love my yoga classes. I miss my yogi friends and my bike ride commutes. And, call me crazy, but I really like getting paid. You know?
Where is my spoonful of sugar?
I have more time at home at the moment. I could spend this time with my hands wrapped lovingly around a jar of peanut butter. I could also refrain from spending every waking moment crooning sweet nothings to my buttery blended nuts, instead allocating said time to feeding my comedic career and serenading the world with my shower-singing voice on YouTube.
Six ways to satisfy your spirits and sugar-coat your sour lemon.
Play a quick-thinking game of singing tag. You start singing a song, any song, and the next family member has to jump in and hijack the lyrics. So, say you sing some of Dusty Springfield’s ‘was a son of a preacher man’, the next person could jump in at man with Shanaia Twain’s ‘man, I feel like a woman’ and the next person could interject at woman with ‘woman hear me roar’ and the next person could quickly get in on roar with Katy Perry’s classic. Then they’d sing ‘I got the eye of the tiger’ which could turn into ‘the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival’ and so on and so forth. Best to play this game with people who are savvy with song lyrics. Here’s a demonstration video I made for y’all. Excuse my shower-singing voice. I’m no Adele.
Learn a little more about the horoscopes and their foodie alter-egos here. As a bonus, it may just rectify (literally) any poopy woes and save you from the perils of toilet paper insecurity.
Have a social media detox. I don’t mean don’t use it. I mean unfollow the people and accounts that bring you down. The friends that are kindness personified in real life but absolute downers on the inter-web. The accounts that trigger anxiety, fear or anything of the sorts. I did this a while back and now my Insta-feed is a haven of sassy finance tips, astrology memes and really sexy looking chickpea-flour frittatas. This is a time to surround yourself with as much comfort as possible.
Learn to love these foodie hacks, such as asking your starchy sisters to ‘Netflix and chill’ and your smoothies to turn green with poo-pushing, liver-loving envy.
Read about the secret life of nuts and seeds. You’ll never see your plant-based protein boosters in the same light again. If you’re feeling creative, why not have a go at writing a paragraph or two that personifies your favourite foodie hot shots?
Keep fit and distracted by listening to a (non- COVID19 themed!!!!! This is so important) podcast and doing floor-based abdominal exercises or yoga poses. Make sure the kids have entertainment of their own, or get your partner to play singing tag with them (see rules above) and retreat to your bedroom with your device for some tummy-toning reprieve.
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