Belinda Joyce
Demonstrating a loving, healthy relationship to your children is one of the best gifts you can give them. What you both role model now is what they will see as normal and how a loving relationship should work, so it is worth providing positive opportunities to show them.
Valentine’s Day is a great chance to spend some special time with your partner and to remind them how much you love them. It is also an opportunity to show your children how you express love with your partner in a positive way.
Make it fun, special days break up the monotonous nature of normal weeks with running a household, sharing the parenting load, juggling children around work commitments and day care and school activities.
It’s a day dedicated to love and you can show your love to your children as well. This can be as simple as saying “I love you” and “Happy Valentine’s Day” or all getting up a little earlier and cooking heart shaped pancakes for each other to enjoy.
There are so many different options:
- go on a date
- go out for dinner
- put a love note in your partner or children’s lunchbox
- send a loving text message
- heart shaped anything – cake, chocolate, pancakes
- go for a walk together
- give a bunch of flowers
- go on a picnic
- sit and have a cup of tea or wine together with no interruptions
- movie night after the kids go to bed
- cook a favourite meal
- order your favourite takeaway
- and many more, use your imagination!
You or your partner could dress up your home, put on a red tablecloth, set the table, put flowers in a vase, these small gestures can go a long way. When children see these small gestures, that’s just as important as large displays of love.
If you can arrange a babysitter, take advantage of this time together with no distractions, for many couples this doesn’t happen very often. Maybe you could make something special for the children for dinner before you go!
A celebration of love isn’t just about chocolates and roses, although they are great, it’s about quality time together. It doesn’t need to be expensive or stressful to arrange something special.
Valentine’s Day is just one of the more obvious day when you can display positive relationship values by enjoying each other’s company. But in a loving relationship these values should be displayed less obviously everyday by the way we treat each other, talk about each other and respect each other. Children will see this during their childhood, and you are their role models for future relationships. This doesn’t mean you always have to get it right, aim for 80% of the time modelling a great relationship to them.
Giving yourselves this special time to reconnect might be just what your relationship needs, prioritise time together. By valuing your relationship and spending time together, your children see this and learn that this is important and should be valued. The time you put into your own relationship will make your family stronger.
By celebrating Valentine’s Day with your partner, you will be role modelling a loving relationship to your children and this will have positive flow on effects. They will gain respect, kindness, generosity, feel loved themselves and part of a loving environment which fosters emotional and social health and wellbeing which they will take with them well into their future.
You may also like to read:
Parenting and Valentine’s Day – Role Modelling Respectful Relationships
