Twinfo
Being a dad to twins is just as hard as being a mum to twins. You may not have had to go through the birth yourself – although you were likely in the room for it. You may not be struggling with excess weight or having to breastfeed, but there are still plenty of changes going on for you and things that are out of your control. The first few months for parents of twins are hard and getting use to the changes in your life can take time. Do not feel hard on yourself if you are struggling at all and take it one day at a time.
As a dad of twins, it is likely that you have gone back to work quickly or not even had a chance to take proper time off from work. To some extend it is still business as usual for you.
Do not over plan
The first few months are going to be hectic for everyone. Between going to work and coming home to your partner and babies there is not going to be much time for anything else. Do not over book yourself with other activities. Weekly golf or catch up with the boys may need to change to a once a month thing. Do not cut them out completely though. You also deserve some time on your own to relax and unwind, contrary to what many may say going to work is not your chance to unwind and get away.
Organise help
Chances are your partner is stubborn and wants to be wonder woman which means she is not going to ask for help when she needs it. Organising help from family and friends means not only will she have support and someone to talk to during the day but it also means that the time spent when you get home from work is quality family time. Whether they cook a few meals or come over and tidy up or simply come over for a chat. It will help everyone out.
Help with the night feeds
You probably need to get up fairly early for work however assisting or taking over one of the night feeds through out the night has benefits for everyone. Your partner may not need to go to work in the morning but she still needs to get up and tend to the babies and the house and may not get a chance to nap during the day. Being able to share the night feeds means that you are both able to get quality sleep at different times. It also gives you a chance to have some one on one bonding time with your babies.
Bring your partner a hot drink
It seems like a silly point but it will make the world of difference to her. Any parent will be able to admit that at some point they have drank a cold tea or coffee because they made it and got distracted with the kids or errands. Being able to sit down for 10 minutes with a hot drink will give you both a chance to chat about your day and relax
Talk to each other
You have both probably had a hard day. She has been at home with the babies whilst you have been off at work. Chances are when you come home this is the first time she has had a chance to talk to another adult. Don’t come home and say you are too tired to talk. Spend some time together and chat about your day and everything that has happened. Newborns can take a toll on a relationship if you are not nurturing your relationship and showing appreciation to your partner.
Do NOT mention the hormones
Your partner has just gone through a lot of changes to her body and mind. Her body would still be dealing with all the extra hormones and at times they may look like they are taking over in a negative way. Between the hormones and lack of sleep your partner may be agitated, snappy and teary (just to name a few)
Be there for her, understand the changes and help her through them, but trust me – do not ever reference the hormones and what they are doing to her. It is safer this way 😉
Being a working twin dad is a full on gig and if you are already doing it – good on you!
If you are about to become one – try not to stress, take each day as it comes and enjoy it
