Kiddipedia
Today was a bad mothering day. It started bad and I cried.
It all started when I was woken at 4.45am by my three year old (after being up with my teething baby all night). It was dark, his face was so close to mine, I could feel his warm morning breath and he was whispering ‘mummy wee wee, poo poo now’. I got up and escorted him to the toilet. He jumped back into our bed, I was hoping for at least another hour of sleep. However, my darling husband snores like a chainsaw and Mr three thinks it’s hilarious. Neither of us could sleep so we gave up and got up at 5.30am.
Other than being tired. My morning was going fine and we decided to hit the shops for some retail therapy. Everyone was dressed up, tidy and happy. We walked through the shopping centre and a few people in the shops said ‘oh how cute’ about Hudson and Scarlett sitting giggling in the trolley. At the checkout of Kmart things went down hill….fast. Hudson wanted chocolate. I offered him a yoghurt, Scarlett grabbed the yoghurt and started eating it. I offered him another yoghurt he didn’t want that one, he wanted the other one that Scarlett had already eaten. I realised we had crossed the three year old tired and hungry line and hadn’t even noticed. I tried to negotiate, gave evil eyes, pleaded. I just wanted to get out of the shops unscathed so we could get everyone home, fed and in bed. Hudson had other plans, he screamed. Not just a little, a lot. I decided to abort the mission grabbed the keys from my bag and headed back to the car.
By this point Hudson was screaming, even louder. I wanted to get to the car (that seemed like miles away), people were looking and I was trying to carry him. He was thrashing around and screaming ‘no, get me my daddy’, snot and tears were all over me, I was sweating and trying to stay composed. He wanted to walk, I let him down and he laid on the floor screaming ‘ go away, where’s my daddy’. I tried to gain control, grabbed his hand and he started doing that awkward dragging/walking thing. I quickly realised when the lady from Coles asked me if everything was ok, that it must have looked like I was kidnapping him. I was so embarrassed, I picked him up, he was still wriggling around. By this point I was so desperate for him to stop screaming I started whispering threats….. threats that I have heard from my own mother like ‘Santa is watching’, ‘You are being very naughty young man’, ‘chocolate, I’ll give you chocolate’, ‘just you wait until daddy gets here’.
We finally got to the car, Hudson did the stiff as a board thing so I had to push him into his car seat. He sobbed for a bit, fell asleep in the car and went to his room when we got home for a sleep and (hopefully) think about his actions.
I was so exhausted I cried, being a mum is sometimes hard. I felt out of my depth. It was so embarrassing and very testing. Children have no manual, they have meltdowns and struggle to control their emotions. Hudson was tired, hungry and is going through a phase of I’m a big boy/no I’m a baby. It’s no excuse for his behaviour and he knows I won’t tolerate it. Looking back now, it must have been quite comical to the staff who commented about my ‘cute’ children. Seeing this little family strolling into the shops then seeing me, wrangling a small crazed toddler, sweating while whispering threats to him.
All mums have those ‘I don’t know what to do 100% overwhelmed, freak out’ moments. Any mum who tells you they haven’t felt that way is telling fibs or has amazing unicorn children that never act up. Today I honestly felt like laying on the ground next to Hudson and crying too. The important part is that we learn, forgive and move on.
Rachelle xx
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