Kriegler Education
In a fast-paced, demanding world, how can parents create cohesion and a sense of family belonging? One of the ways is to create a family emblem.
When our family emigrated from South Africa to Australia in 1998, I was concerned about losing connection with family and friends. In the midst of this anxiety, I had an inspiration to create a family emblem. My husband, son and daughter, then five and ten years old thought it was a great idea. Our small nuclear family conversed about what it might be. We chose the dolphin.
Dancing with dolphins
A dolphin is both a sea creature and a mammal, and so is infinitely adaptable. It is comfortable in the wild and capable of thriving in captivity. It is strong, intelligent, beautiful and powerful. It swims vast distances, is social and playful. It can also be ferocious. But what we loved most about it was the ability to communicate with exquisite songs across great distances.
So, we became a dolphin family, and we extended the idea to a close extended family.
I had no notion of how strong and long-lasting this decision would be. Whenever anyone in the family is celebrating, aspiring, struggling or persevering, they think about being a dolphin with all its remarkable qualities. The emblem is personally motivating and has created a deep sense of family connection. Over the past 23 years has sustained us often. My own siblings and I regularly reference it in our conversations and it is part of our sibling ‘tribalry’. We often sign off our messages with dolphins. We conjure the image whenever we have something challenging to do. It helped our nuclear and extended families to overcome distance in the past, and during the COVID crisis when family members were separated. It is a psychic and spiritual connection.
Emblems have a long history
Emblems worked for families and communities as far back as medieval times. They sustain communities today. I was honoured to hear an outstanding child psychologist, Winthrop Professor at the University of Western Australia, Dr Helen Milroy, talk at a conference in 2012 about how she uses totems as part of healing the experiences of traumatised, dislocated and distressed youth. Cultural stories, displaying the characteristic qualities animals and their negotiation of challenges, inspire, motivate and raise optimism. Story, image and totems give us pathways to understand our experience and ourselves.
Besides being a psychologist, Dr Milroy is an author and when asked in a newspaper interview in 2021 how stories can help children build courage, she answered that ‘Storytelling is the oldest form of learning’. In Helen’s own words:
We remember life through stories and learn so much from hearing other people’s stories as well. This is true for children and adults. Stories can help children see different ways of understanding challenges and learning new ways to solve problems. It can help children see their unique place in the world and feel proud of who they are. It can help them see there is a solution and be inspired by others.
Each of her characters is chosen because it emblemises some amazing human qualities and teaches life lessons.
Choose your own emblem to inspire and connect your family
As a parent interested in creating family cohesion you might select an emblem for your family. Or ask your child to choose his or her own personal emblem that captures the qualities they would like to internalise for themselves. Then the emblems can inhabit, inspire and vitalise your family stories.
I wish you well on your parenting journey.
Lili-Ann Kriegler (B. A Hons, H. Dip. Ed, M.Ed.) is a Melbourne-based education consultant and award-winning author. Lili-Ann’s primary specialisations are in early childhood education (birth-9 years), leadership and optimising human thinking and cognition. Lili-Ann is a child, parent and family advocate who believes education is a transformative force for humanity. Her current part-time role is as an education consultant at Independent Schools Victoria and she runs her own consultancy, Kriegler-Education. Find out more at https://kriegler-education.com
