Yvette Salvaris
Children by nature are inquisitive They are just learning about the world and its only natural that as they grow they seek answers to questions. Sometimes children can ask the strangest questions out of the blue, other times it may be triggered by something that has happened either at school or home. The most important thing is that we as adults try to help children understand the world around them in an honest and ethical way.
To be honest there is no right or wrong way to address children’s questions. However it is important that they are addressed. The first factor you have to consider before responding is the maturity of the child and the temperament. It’s important that you also consider your families values and beliefs in responding to your child. This is especially when it comes to sensitive topics.
Sometimes questions that are asked are not so clear. So its important that you ask some clarifying questions t ensure that you are not misunderstanding the question. This is best done by repeating the question back to the child. Use simple and easy to understand language. When it comes to the answer its best to be clear and straight forward with your response. If it’s a really difficult question its ok to take some time to think and admit to the child that you don’t know the answer, just make sure you get back to the child with your response and always be available for a child to follow up.
Here are some hints and tips for dealing with different subject matters that might arise.
Anatomy and Sex
When it comes to questions about body parts, its important that you use correct terminology when talking about the differences. When children are young it’s a great time to explain to them about private parts and what body privacy means. Its also the perfect time to address what they should do if they feel uncomfortable should another adult or person invade their body privacy. By equipping the child with the correct terminology, it will enable them to explain the situation more clearly to another trusted adult.
When it comes to the question of “where do babies come from” it can be a very embarrassing and stressful time for you as an adult. In a perfect world this topic would be just like any other. However it’s a very delicate one and often embarrassing for the adult. When dealing with these questions be honest, don’t use too much detail and take a very deep breath!
Questions about Death
This can be one of the hardest topics to deal with for children. Its only natural for them to ask questions especially if there has been a death in the family. Its important when dealing with these type of questions that you identify the reason behind the question. Is your child afraid that you may die? Are they afraid that you may not be around to care for them? In this instance the first thing to do is to communicate to your child that you are not going anywhere and that you are healthy and safe.
Its important that you use the right terminology. Don’t be afraid to use the word death. Sometimes by saying things like “Grandpa fell asleep and id not wake up” might make the child too afraid to go to sleep or be scared that if your fall asleep you may not wake up. When it comes to questions about why the person died be honest. Explain in simple terms the reason “Eg grandpas’ heart was very old and stopped working”. Be careful using terms like “sick” or ‘ill” as they child might be worried that next time they get sick something will happen to them.
Questions are a normal part of child development and there will be times when you are confronted with having to give an answer. Don’t ever ignore a child’s questions no matter how difficult the conversation may be. Take the time to be honest and open with your child. By answering their questions, you are helping them to understand the world around them.
