Kiddipedia
The festive season offers a unique opportunity for co-parents to teach their children the joy of giving, even across two homes. Whether or not your co-parent will do the same, facilitating your child’s gift-giving to them is a meaningful way to model generosity and thoughtfulness.
For Kids in Primary School
If your child is in primary school, find out if their classroom activities include making Christmas gifts. If they’re crafting two gifts, one for each parent, that’s fantastic. If it’s just one, have a chat with your child about who they’d like to give it to.
If they’re gifting it to your co-parent, let your co-parent know so they can help your child with a gift for you. If the gift is for you, help your child sort something out for their other parent.
For Teens
If your child is a teen, school activities might not offer much assistance. It’s possible your child has made something in one of their elective subjects that they might like to use as a gift—but often, they prefer to keep these projects for themselves. Encourage them to consider what their co-parent would appreciate, drawing inspiration from past Christmases.
Gift Selection Tips
Consider what you know or remember about what’s important to your co-parent at Christmas. Were gifts important? Did they value the thought behind the gift, or did they cherish homemade items? This is a great opportunity to teach your child about considering others’ preferences in gift-giving—a valuable skill that extends beyond the holidays.
Incorporating Values
Discuss with your child how your family values can influence gift choices. For example, if environmental sustainability is important, choose gifts that align with this principle. Perhaps in your family thoughtfulness matters more than cost.
Reflect on the gift-giving traditions in both your family and your co-parent’s. This can guide your child in choosing a gift that resonates with both households.
When You Struggle with Choosing a Gift for Your Co-Parent
It’s understandable if thinking about gifts for your co-parent is challenging. Chances are, your relationship ended for good reasons. However, remember that this isn’t about your co-parent—it’s about your child. If it’s too difficult, consider asking a relative or friend of your co-parent to assist, while staying open to your child’s excitement about what they’re planning.
Fostering Generosity and Empathy this Christmas
Facilitating your child’s gift-giving to their other parent, regardless of your personal feelings, is a powerful way to teach them about kindness, empathy, and the spirit of the season. These lessons will stay with them for a lifetime, far beyond the holidays.
Tiffany Rochester is a Clinical Psychologist and Co-Parenting Coach who specialises in helping separated families create healthy, harmonious two-home families for their children. With over 20 years of experience in child development and human behaviour, Tiffany is passionate about simplifying the co-parenting process, ensuring that children can thrive as their family changes.
Recognising the emotional and financial toll of adversarial legal systems, Tiffany is committed to guiding parents towards collaborative and compassionate solutions. Her approach offers swift relief and opens new pathways for families to move forward, free from the constraints of traditional, litigious processes.
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