The Wellness Poet
By Krissy Regan, The Wellness Poet
The Good Ole Days mean different things to different generations and I’m now fondly referring to the good ole days with nostalgia and the mindset that; “Things were better when!”.
For me “The Good Ole Days” are life before the internet, a home with one phone, food that you grew in the garden and bikes that you rode all over the place with no helmet and a sense of total freedom.
I was born in 1975 and in some places I lived until the age of 8 we did not have electricity. We had a woodfired stove for cooking and one of those prehistoric washing machines where you had to unwrap your clothes from the spinney thing in the middle before you could hang them up.
We had a record player, a radio and a telephone that worked by dialling 2 longs and a short to speak to our neighbours 50ks away. We milked a cow, killed all our meat products, and baked all our treats. I got attacked by a Turkey Gobbler, chased by Bulls, stood on by my Horse, and had one too many close encounters with large Snakes. I did not wear shoes until I was 11, when it was time to go to boarding school and most of my clothes were homemade.
I didn’t know about anything depression, anxiety, ADHD or ever get prescribed medicine for anything other than measles or bronchitis.
In my late 40s I have many friends who grew up in similar environments and it’s fun and frightening to chat with them now about the curse of modern life and the challenges faced by our kids.
Here’s some common topics of conversation among parents today;
- He/She doesn’t want to work, is lazy, unmotivated, antisocial.
- He just wants to be in his room Gaming with friends.
- She wants to be on Instagram all day and is struggling with self-image and low self-esteem.
- Our kids don’t know how to talk to people. They lack social skills and can’t make eye contact.
- Our kid has major anxiety issues.
- Our kid has ADHD.
- Our kid has mental health problems and is self-harming.
- Our kid won’t clean his/her room and doesn’t know how to cook.
- Our kids don’t want to be accountable and want instant gratification.
This list can go on for pages but I’m not going to dwell on the negatives about children because I am a mother, I am empathetic, and I am very conscious that the kids are not to blame.
What is the antidote?
We need to go back to simplicity and the good ole days. We can share with our kids what the good ole days were like. When boredom was normal, being lonely was normal and having to do everything yourself was normal.
As a family we just survived (enjoyed) a three-week road trip and I spoiled my kids with snacks, movies and fun experiences. At times I felt their behaviour was rude, ungrateful and entitled. Now I’m back home determined to prepare my girls for real life and I’m doing a few things differently this term.
- I’m talking about personal responsibility a lot, in many different situations.
- I’m showing my kids how to grow food, cook food and sell food.
- I’m helping them make their own lunch boxes and consider healthy choices.
- I’m keeping them active and outside in the yard as much as possible.
- I’m motivating them to tidy their room, put their stuff away and get dressed by themselves each day and the reward will be the activities they desire such as gymnastics and ballet.
- I reminded myself that if we are all healthy, we can clean our own home and tidy up the yard. I could pay people, but then the kids don’t see Mum and Dad doing it they don’t learn how to do it.
I believe most people learn through osmosis.
- Osmosis, the spontaneous passage or diffusion of water or other solvents through a semipermeable membrane.
What I mean is, we just absorb things we see mentally as well as physically and it sticks in our memory and later, we remember how to do many things which are critical for survival and problem-solving.
Another expression is Monkey See, Monkey Do!
Our kids will mimic and mirror our behaviour and patterns to a certain extent. And if we outsource parenting and free time to technology then we outsource all aspects of their development and the good ole days are lost.
I was lucky to have parents and grandparents that showed me how to survive; cook, clean, sew, grow food, care for animals, bake, milk cows, catch a fish, fillet a fish and so on. I started earning money from the age of 7, and at 17 I had 3 jobs and then went to start a degree at 18. I worked 3 jobs whilst at Uni and I have never not had an income.
My kids really wanted a pet dog. I got chickens instead. I don’t have the time or spare money to care for a dog that does not contribute to our household, at this time. I have time to feed my chooks and thank them for the eggs they provide our family. My kids have learned how to take care of the chooks, collect the eggs, make an omlett and think of the chickens as our pets. It feels like a win-win to me and orange tree beside the chook house loves it too.
There is real value in this basic stuff for the whole of life. As the world speeds up, more parents outsource the cleaning, cooking, shopping, learning and so on and spend their time rushing their kids all over the place, and then wonder why their kids are so ungrateful and don’t clean their rooms and suffer with anxiety.
I urge and encourage parents to think about the good ole days and to demonstrate to kids how to live and what is truly important in life. Which is to be safe, nourished and value themselves and the world around them. Of course, it’s great to keep up with modern trends and to support your kids in their interests and passions, but if that is all about a virtual world, then it’s really no wonder we have a mental health crisis. Human beings are living creatures like all other animals, and we need the natural world to feed us both physically and spiritually.
As a parent, I recognise my influence on my kids and I’m very conscious of the monkey see, monkey do dilemma. I’m trying my best to be a good role model and share my take on the good ole days, hoping that one day it will be part of their good ole days too.
