Dr Tanya Unni
Recently I had the honor of being adjudged Ausmumpreneur of the year 2021 (Queensland and Northern Territory). Every award is treasured, but this one truly touched my heart. I was thrilled and overwhelmed. The spirit of this award is unique as it acknowledges women entrepreneurs who juggle business and motherhood. I would say that the award was well-timed as it came at a time when I was reflecting a lot on my roles as mother and businesswoman. And it reinforced my parenthood theories.
The Ausmumpreneur award is truly special because I believe that whatever accomplishments I may have in my career; motherhood always remains the most precious and most gratifying part of my existence. Please not be mistaken – I am an ardently ambitious entrepreneur and I love my career. But, while career goals give us momentary joy, motherhood is pure and eternal bliss.
Being a multicultural, migrant professional, with no family or relatives in Australia, parenthood has not been all roses for me. I started my first clinic in 2010. I had my first baby in 2012. Amtan Medical is my baby as much as my boys. The formative years required me to balance my time and give my babies and the clinics the necessary attention and it was a real task. There were days that the pressure got the better of me and there were days when I thought I could do it all. Over time I have developed my own parenthood principles and I have tried to implement them in my life. Let me list out some of them here.
First of all, be there where you can’t be replaced. A mother is irreplaceable. That’s a fact, for sure. In our job too, there will be areas where we are inevitable. Get a fair understanding of where we can be replaced and where we can’t be. With a little planning, we can bring the necessary lifestyle changes. Avoid spaces where we are easily replaceable and dedicate that time for kids. Try not to be the superwoman and learn to delegate. This is applicable at work and at home. Asking for help is not bad. Suffering alone is bad. This realization has been life-changing for me. This takes off a lot of burden and you can spare a lot of time for the upbringing of your kids. Plus, you know you’re where your presence is needed the most.
Secondly, avoid distracting and negative influences in life. Time is precious for a working mother. If we learn to manage time well, we will have plenty of time to be with our children. For that, we need to find out which activities are usurping our time. It can be anything from social media to toxic relations. We invest time in such things and before we know they overpower and manipulate us and leave us drained. The result – we have no quality time for children. But, once we cut off these things, we will have ample time at hand.
Thirdly, do away with the mom guilt. Contrary to the existing idea, I believe working mothers can be better mothers than stay-at-home mothers. This is because working mothers are constantly interacting with the world and they remain active and busy. The children grow up seeing a confident, independent mother and what other role model do they need!
The only thing working mothers are short of is time. But from my experience I can vouch for the fact that we can find time if we plan properly and act accordingly. And it’s not about spending time with the child 24/7, but having fun and imparting values to them that’s important. We need to ensure that we spend quality time with the kids and pass on our value system to them.
Fourthly, give responsibilities to kids. Instead of spoonfeeding and handholding, let children learn on their own. Give them small chores and make them part of household work. I assure that they will grow to become responsible adults. Parenting is not about building a cocoon for your child to lead a protected life, but it’s about helping them to spread their wings and to stand up to meet any challenge.
Listen to children. Since, working mothers are not always around, make sure that you hear out their feelings and always remain updated. The assurance that parents are always there for them builds confident children. Also, talk to them. If we communicate to the kids how important the career is to mom, then they will be most understanding and supportive.
I thought of sharing my parenthood experience in the light of this amazing award. I know each mother is the best and she knows what is best for her children. Each one of us has our own style of parenthood and all of them are awesome in their own special ways. Each mum is an awesome mum. Have a gala time being a mother!
