Toward Wellbeing

Toward Wellbeing

Knowing when to start toilet training can be complicated. There is no single sign that tells us when our little people are ready, and even for those who are ready, certain life events can derail things.

In our house, toilet training was a long…long process. Our little girl started showing the signs to watch out for around two years old: she was interested in toileting, had long dry spells, and would take herself to her potty, so we started toilet training. But it ended up taking two years until she was finally out of nappies.

What happened? For us, there were a number of factors like going to daycare and a stubborn personality.

Here are some things to watch out for, that signal you might be starting toilet training too soon:

  • They don’t know, or can’t sense when they need to go: If a child cannot understand the sensation or struggle to communicate it, it’s hard to get them consistently dry. You can help them notice different signs (wiggle dance, holding themselves, urgency) and try to get them into a routine if certain times of day or activities signal a wee or poo is imminent.

  • They are actively avoiding or distressed about using the toilet: If your child is screaming, crying, or running away, they might not be ready. You can support them to clear up fears, like reading books about toilet training or showing them how you use the bathroom. Consider checking with your family doctor if you’re concerned about sensory issues. Some children are sensitive to sensations or have diagnoses that make sensory experiences overwhelming.

  • If they are happy to sit in a soiled nappy: If your child isn’t bothered by sitting in a full nappy, they probably won’t be motivated to use the potty or toilet. They won’t alert you when they need to go, so you might miss important cues.

  • Their nappies are still full: If your child isn’t having dry nappies yet, or has frequent accidents, their muscles aren’t developed enough to hold wee and poo. Bladder and sphincter control are needed to become toilet trained, and some kids just aren’t ready yet.

Starting too soon can add stress and distress, which can set back toilet training efforts. Trust your instincts and don’t give in to pressure to toilet train your child before they are ready.

References

  1. Anne J Wright, Rosie Kelly, in Finnie’s Handling the Young Child with Cerebral Palsy at Home (Fourth Edition), 2009
  2. ALISON SCHONWALD, LEONARD A. RAPPAPORT, in Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics, 2008