Kiddipedia
Kiddos are do intuitive, right? They sense when things are good, bad and ugly… They also sense panic, fear and distress… all of the things that we’re facing right now.
So, what can we do to help ‘calm our own farm’ so that we can calm the menagerie in our home as well?
We asked Anita van Rooyen, Human Behaviour Expert, for her top 10 tips… This is what she said…
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Find your focus
Where you focus goes, your energy flows… So, turn off the news and limit yourself to watching it once a day (at most!). Identify the feelings and atmosphere you actually want to create for your family – maybe be calm and certain or fun and engaging, and might even be different things at different times of the day. By knowing what they are, you can then focus on activities etc that support them.
2. Create certainty for the kids (and yourself)
Things are changing at a million miles an hour, but somethings will never change, like your love for your kids, right? Together create a list that you add to everyday of all of the things that they can be certain of – the change in season, sunset, sunrise etc This allows kids to remember that while there is lots of change, the important things remain.
3. Create structure and rituals
We build our lives on structure, so maintaining it now is ever more vital, especially things like bed, meal and wake up times. Create a family timetable of what is going to be done when. By including the kids in the scheduling and explaining why this is important (family is our mini community) they can have ownership and be part of making it happen.
4. Create a gratitude jar or wall
Find a good use for those stolen sticky notes and dedicate an area in the house (the back of the toilet door works well) for everyone to write at least one thing or person that they are grateful for and why, or use a jar and a mini notepad block and read them at the end of the week. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to fear, so including gratitude every day in rituals like brekky or dinner is a must do!
5. Mind your language
Remembering that the words we speak only convey about 7% of the meaning is even more important right now. Our tone and body language make up the other 93% and it’s these that kids are particularly skilled at picking up on. Create language awareness, and focus on love and gratitude before you speak.
6. Remember to have FUN!
Even in war times kids are kids and need to have fun… and kids need to see you having fun too… to let them know that it’s ok for them to be laughing and being silly. Simple things like family karaoke, concerts and dress ups for dinner (with you leaving your ego outside please!) can bring laughter and fun in. Why not also facetime family and friends into it as well to spread the joy.
7. Together or apart?
We have the choice, that this time can either bring us as a family and community together, or it can tear us apart. When we choose community, it means that we look out for others and not just ourselves. It means that we learn to share what we have with those that have less and in turn build our gratitude even further. Check in if your neighbor needs something and how you can be of assistance. Helping others brings joy and build connection to both the giver and receiver.
8. Grow something
It’s very easy to forget that we actually will get through this… growing something, even if it’s just the green bits from carrot tops or avocado seeds, means that we are focusing on the brighter future ahead of us. Growing vegetables in pots, like quick growing lettuce seedlings etc, is even better and reminds us that when we nurture nature, she nurtures us right back.
9. Find the silver lining
Reframing is a process to look at things from different angles to find something good in any situation. Acknowledging any fear first and then helping the kids to reframe it to find a ‘higher purpose’ for what’s happening, is a simple positive action with proven therapeutic benefit.
10. Use technology
Technology is there to support us, but used unwisely it will be there to drive and magnify fear. Use it to connect to family and friends that you can’t visit right now. Include time in the daily schedule to connect to (at least) one person per day.
Anita van Rooyen is a Melbourne-based Human Behaviour Expert, Confidence Coach and Creator of The Corona Courses – mindset courses to help people manage their fear and anxiety caused by the COVID19 ‘Pandemic of Panic’ and “Lockdown Meltdown”. www.thecoronacourse.com
Anita has helped 1000’s of people, from CEO’s to students, manage shyness, ranting self-talk, procrastination, self-judgement and more through one-on-one and group coaching and her online programs. www.anitavanrooyen.com
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