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Self-care mindset tips for exhausted parents (post lockdown).
You’re frustrated with your child, they are throwing a tantrum again, and you feel your anger boiling up on top of feeling overwhelmed & exhausted by the circumstances already. Now that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
You then reach out for some chocolate, ah that smooth melting chocolate is da best! But then you immediately feel disgusted at how much you’ve eaten. Then you feel guilty that you felt angry towards your child.
Now you’ve opened the door for the next wave of feelings – there’s loneliness there and you’ve lost confidence that this will ever be any other way, you feel stuck not only with your parenting, but maybe with other areas of your life as well. Then you entertain the spiral into the rabbit hole – the flood gates open. At least you’ve got chocolate!
Does this sound familiar to the cycle of thoughts and feelings happening within you?
So you see, what’s been painted is the picture of emotional ups and downs over there within you. All those emotions arise in you – the sensations within your body, the tension you feel, plus all the associated meanings you’ve placed on what’s happened.
What’s happening is that you’re experiencing stress responses triggered & exacerbated by your child’s behaviour –it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. It’s really hard to control fears & disbeliefs that fire off automatically within your brain – have you ever thought “how come I react the way I react?”. It’s because it’s coming from your subconscious and you can’t control it.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) helps alleviate your stress & angst naturally and quickly.
EFT uses the wisdom of Eastern acupressure meridian points with modern Western psychology to shift and alleviate stress & anxiety. Also known as Tapping because you use your finger tips to tap on the meridian points, it is a scientifically proven technique which works to rewire the brain by sending calming & de-stressing signals to the amygdala, allowing both the body and brain to release limitations from negative experiences, emotions & thoughts which hold us back from creating the life we want.
Tapping also relaxes and grounds you, bringing your body back to a state of healing and balance. Whether you know how to do tapping or not, there are premises to which you can actively participate in your healing.
My tips here aren’t your usual journaling & meditation challenges, but it’s suggestions on how to deepen your self-care rituals further. And it’s how I coach my clients to help them attain transformation in their stuck issues.
Acceptance:
Acceptance is by far the hardest thing to practice and do, but it is only through acceptance of what is and is not, that we can reach freedom from what keeps us stuck. What happened has happened, and the past is the past, and you may not like it – you may even hate it! But the past will keep impacting your future if you’re hung up & justified on what happened. Allow the emotions about your past to arise & be released from your body. Otherwise you’ll always be a slave to that memory. It controls you, not the other way. Acceptance is key. So how do you step through that? Well, there’s the next phase of acknowledgement.
Acknowledgement:
The recognition of how things occurred to you is a response-ability. The recognition of how your actions impacted others also is your response-ability. There’s always a cause and effect. But the trick here isn’t to point the finger, the trick here is to really be accountable to how the situation occurred to you. What is your view? How did you feel in that moment? Who else got impacted by your energy and behaviour? To acknowledge all of that is to complete the cycle and close the circuit. The power can now be restored back to you. No longer will you feel a victim to your circumstances.
Affirm:
Now that you’ve gone through the eye of the needle, accepted what you didn’t want to accept, and acknowledged what you resisted acknowledging, then the slate is now clear for creation.
If you had just gone straight for affirmations on top of intense emotions (and without doing the work to unpack what’s going on) the most you’d do is alleviate your angst for a moment or two, but it’s not sustainable.
So affirmations here is to ground and anchor the clearing you’ve created inside of the work you’ve done to complete & heal. Think of what possibility you’d like to realise in relation to what happened. How would you like to feel? What freedoms would you like to experience? How would you like to be left feeling the next time you’re going through the same circumstance? And this is where you can then immerse yourself in the sensations of the affirming thoughts & feel a balance return to you.
When you do the work on unpacking and delayering how you feel – the facts peel away from the meanings, and you’re left with the matter at hand with no drama or direction by uncontrollable thoughts. It is truly freeing.
Fay is a Clarity & Mindset Coach using the modality of EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique).
She helps women with emotional stresses find calm, clarity & confidence amid the chaos of life with 1:1 coaching & EFT Tapping.
It’s obviously a very triggering & stressful time during COVID19 and 2020, and even more people will emotionally re-act now – and they have no control over it. It’s coming from your subconscious.
EFT uses Eastern acupressure meridian points with Western psychology to alleviate stress & anxiety. Also known as Tapping (because you use your finger tips to tap on the meridian points), it is a scientifically proven technique which works to rewire the brain by sending calming & de-stressing signals to the amygdala, allowing both the body and brain to release limitations from negative experiences, emotions & thoughts which hold us back from creating the life we want.
For her tapping sessions, Fay helps unhinge unworkable cycles that seem to just repeat over time despite different circumstances. She will help shift seemingly unmovable mountains for you.
If you’d like to know more or reach out to Fay, please email: fay@budgeting123.com
Or follow her Facebook page: www.facebook.com/livingwellwithfay
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