Kiddipedia
The Gentle Sleep Sleep Specialist has been supporting families around the globe in sleep and parenting for nearly ten years, and we are thrilled to offer guidance on some common questions.
Why the lead-up to bedtimes matter:
The lead-up to bedtime is actually a really important part of the overall sleep process. How you navigate this period not only sets the scene for sleep but also influences how smoothly bedtime settles and nighttime sleep progresses. Certain practices in the lead-up to bedtime can significantly impact these aspects. Firstly, it’s crucial to ensure that your child is building an appetite for sleep rather than losing sleep pressure and getting a second wind. Excessive winding down, the consumption of sleepy milk, and particularly screen time can complicate bedtime routines. Additionally, how your child falls asleep initially may influence what they seek and expect during the night. For instance, if your child relies on being rocked to sleep or having you sit with them until they drift off, they may seek the same when they wake during the night. If you find you are in a cycle of dependence that you wish to change, the lead up to bedtime is where it begins. For little ones being solely reliant on parental assistance for falling asleep is a common reason for frequent night waking and fragmented naps.
Better bedtime routines:
I don’t adhere to strictly ritualistic bedtime routines that involve a list of tasks before bed. Instead, I view bedtime routines as a valuable opportunity to foster connection. By creating a bedtime routine that prioritises quality time together, free from distractions, transitions between activities become more enjoyable and consistent. This approach not only establishes clear boundaries but also enhances predictability for both children and adults. Engaging in activities that promote sleep pressure and bonding, such as play, books, outdoor strolls, colouring together. By focusing on connection rather than a rigid checklist, bedtime becomes a cherished time for strengthening relationships and promoting a sense of security and comfort before sleep.
How to navigate stressful bedtimes:
Navigating stressful bedtimes involves addressing common factors that contribute to bedtime difficulties. One significant factor is the loss of sleep pressure, which can occur due to activities such as drowsy feeds, screen time, or excessive downtime before bed. This loss of sleep pressure often leads to challenges in settling down for bedtime. How you put your child to sleep also plays a crucial role; if you find yourself playing unsustainable roles in getting them to sleep, it can become a strain on bedtime routines. Moreover, if your child relies on your assistance to fall asleep initially, they may repeatedly seek your help throughout the night to return to sleep.
For toddlers, establishing boundaries and connection during bedtime is vital. Rather than simply issuing a list of requests, I recommend incorporating interactive elements into the bedtime routine. Engage your child with their toys, prioritise connection before direction, and find moments to truly connect with them, demonstrating interest and engagement. Incorporating play and outdoor time into their day can help build sleep pressure and regulate their circadian rhythm, particularly in the late afternoon and early evening.
It’s essential for your child to feel guided by you during bedtime, understanding that you as their caregiver provide sturdy but kind boundaries. Your role is not solely to appease your child but to establish boundaries when necessary while also validating their emotions. Encourage the expression of all feelings even if they involve upset about boundaries without resorting to punishment or shame but also very importantly keeping the boundary. A helpful strategy for toddlers is using a chart outlining the bedtime routine, bath, teeth etc allowing them to mark off each activity as they progress, providing a sense of accomplishment and structure.
Hello, Tara here from The Gentle Sleep Specialist, Paediatric Nurse, Sleep specialist and Mother of 3 beautiful babes.
We are always here to help when it comes to bedtimes, sleep and parenting. Any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.
Hello, Tara here from The Gentle Sleep Specialist, Paediatric Nurse, Sleep specialist and Mother of 3 beautiful babes.
The Gentle Sleep Specialist
Tara Mitchell
