Kiddipedia
Having discipline, learning right from wrong, and being able to control our actions. All of these are essential elements parents want to build into their child’s mind. The home and classroom are two places that offer great opportunities to instil these characteristics. In this article, we will focus on positive discipline strategies which build positive behaviour in contrast to negative discipline strategies that focus on breaking negative behaviours.
When looking for a school that will build positive behaviour in your child, consider seeking out one that uses a Positive Planning/Reflection Room. A reflection/planning/timeout room is a place where a teacher can refer a child who is not in the right mindset at that moment to be in the classroom. Teachers often use this as an effective classroom management strategy which allows them to focus on teaching the lesson to the majority of the class who are engaged and ready to learn.
Students that are sent to the reflection room generally have to identify the behaviour that they did which led to them being sent there. They then look at alternative strategies which they could do to prevent this behaviour from happening again. This forms the basis for a negotiated plan to enter back into the classroom with their teacher.
A positive reflection/planning room has a slight but very impactful difference. It encourages the child to self-identify and refer themselves to the room when they are not in the right mind to engage in the classroom lesson. Here the student is assisted in being able to communicate what their problem, emotion or concern is that is affecting their ability to be in class today. There can be a huge range of reasons, from being embarrassed, feeling ashamed about not understanding the class work, to a problem at home, through to being overtired or hungry. What the positive reflection room does though is then allow the school to help build an individualized plan to support the child with their problem in a space that feels safe, empathetic and supportive. It also teaches the child the ability to proactively understand, seek help and deal with negative emotions in a manner that stops smaller problems leading to bigger or systemic problems. It also helps students to feel like they are having a negative interaction with their teacher when they are “sent” to the reflection room. A positive reflection room helps deal with the cause of the root behaviour; a regular reflection room often focuses on just managing the behaviour itself.
Positive discipline strategies at home focus on encouraging and building positive behaviours, rather than a focus on breaking bad ones. An excellent example of this is when you want to change the language a child uses and an attitude of how a child may be presenting themselves.
In this instance, we place value on the language we want the child to use. We reward, value and encourage the use of positive language such as please, thank you, words of encouragement, offers of help etc. To convey value and reward the child for using these words, we use incentives. For example, 50 positive words, phrases or actions today equals a certificate, internet time, playtime or some other form of reward and acknowledgment. Using this positive discipline system, you are having your child focus on positive language with purpose and intention. When either child or adult has purpose or intention they learn and maintain a behaviour much more quickly.
If you wish to remove the negative behaviour perhaps swearing or put-downs, then reward them for the minutes or time periods that they do not use this language. For example, every five minutes without a swear word may count as a point towards the incentive you have in place.
Positive discipline approaches never have kids lose points. They always find ways to earn points and focus on moving forward with things that can be controlled, rather than concentrate on a negative past that cannot be changed. These positive discipline strategies build not only discipline but strengthen work ethic, positive relationships, communication and also the ability to self-regulate. They also learn to feel and experience success.
Joe Christensen is a teacher, sports coach, author and international presenter who specializes in positive behaviour and engagement strategies for children and adolescents. For more general or personalized assistance please see www.sportlifesuccess.com or https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnWntTmWlN-2NpbSA5ueU-w
