Breanna Jayne Sada
By Breanna Jayne Sada
These days it can feel as though terrible events are unfolding all around us. Stories of war, violence and escalating conflicts reach us constantly through news, social media and conversations with other adults. As a parent or carer, you may be feeling heavy-hearted, scared, unsure and sometimes overwhelmed. It is normal to feel distressed when the world feels unsafe. Your own reactions matter, and they will shape the way your children respond too.
Children can sense when we are unsettled, even if we say nothing. They pick up on our tone of voice, our facial expressions, and the way our bodies hold the tension we carry. So the first thing to know is this. You do not have to be calm and collected all the time to support your child. You simply need to be genuine, present, and connected. This creates the safety children need most when the world feels hard to understand.
Children do not need to see every news clip, every photo and every post about war and violence. But most will hear about it or see snippets in passing. Young children may not yet understand the details but they can still feel the anxiety that surrounds the topic. Older children and teens may be searching for information, trying to make sense of a confusing world, and asking real questions about safety, fairness and their future.
Here are some ways to talk with children about what is happening, help them process their feelings and protect their emotional well-being.
Start with what they already know
Ask your child in a gentle way what they have heard. You might say something like “I saw you watching the fighting overseas on the TV. What do you know about it?” This opens a conversation without overwhelming them with more information than they need. It helps you understand what they already know and what fears might be tucked under the surface. Children will often fill in gaps in their understanding with their imagination, and that can create bigger fears than the reality warrants.
Use age-appropriate language
All children and teens have natural curiosities that need to be attended to or they will go looking for more information to fulfil them. You can be the source of this information in a safe and supportive way that isn’t sensationalised like some media reports. With younger children, focus on simple facts and reassurance of safety. Tell them it is okay to feel confused or sad and that you are there to answer their questions. With older children and teens, you can have deeper conversations about the reasons countries go to war, about history, about human rights, and about the way the media shapes what we see. Tailor your explanations to their developmental level and invite their thoughts and questions. Always look for stories of the helpers that provide hope, even if not feeling hopeful yourself.
Acknowledge feelings without minimising
It is okay to say “I feel upset about these events too” or “I don’t have all the answers.” This shows children that emotions are normal and that adults do not always have full explanations for the harsh parts of life. For many parents, it can feel hard to admit uncertainty, but doing so actually teaches children that it is okay to hold big feelings and that we can cope with them together.
Children need their emotions to be heard and understood. If they say they feel scared or sad, listen first. You might reflect their feelings back by saying something like “It sounds like that made you feel really worried.” This helps them feel seen and understood rather than alone with their emotions. It also gives you the chance to correct any misconceptions they may have picked up from fragments of news or social media.
Protect their exposure to the media
Graphic images, repeating news loops, and sensationalised reporting can increase anxiety in children and adults. You are allowed to limit what your child sees. For younger children, especially, you can reduce the amount of media they are exposed to and be with them when they do see or hear anything about violence. Older children may seek information on their own. In that case, you can discuss with them how to choose reliable sources and why it is healthy to take breaks from the news when it feels overwhelming.
Talk about safety and care
Children want to know that the people they love are safe. Without lying or minimising the reality of global events, you can gently reassure them about practical safety where you live. You can also focus on the helpers in these situations: the people trying to bring aid, the clinicians, volunteers, neighbours and community members who show up when tragedy strikes. This balances fear with a sense of compassion and resilience.
Encourage connection and action
For older children and teens in particular, feelings of helplessness about war and violence can be big. Invite them to think about ways to contribute rather than only absorb news. This might include learning about humanitarian efforts, writing letters of support, or volunteering locally for causes that resonate with them. Action restores a sense of agency when the world feels out of control.
Model calm and coping strategies
Children learn from watching you. If you notice that your own distress about world events is high, find ways to regulate your emotions. This might include talking with a friend, journaling your thoughts, practising deep breathing, or seeking your own support from a counsellor if needed. When children see you using healthy ways to manage stress, they learn those skills too.
Be aware of changes in behaviour
Sometimes children show their distress in ways other than words. They might have trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, cling to you more than usual, or act out in ways that are unusual for them. These behaviours do not mean they are “badly behaved.” They might be signalling emotional overload or fear. Staying curious and checking in routinely will help you respond sensitively.
As much as possible, we want children and teens’ routines to be intact and regular, even when challenging things happen like the family might be worried about someone overseas. Routine can help restore feelings of safety.
Remind them that kindness matters
One of the most powerful lessons in difficult times is that kindness matters more than ever. Encourage children to talk about people they think are showing courage, empathy, and compassion, even in small everyday ways. Help them see that even when there is conflict, kindness still exists, and each of us has a role in creating it.
Talking with your child about violence and war is not a one-off conversation. It is a series of moments that build connection, safety and trust. You might feel unsure, and that is okay. What matters most is that your child feels heard, supported and not alone in their worries. When you show up with warmth and honesty, you help them build resilience that will last long beyond the headlines.
If you feel that your child’s worry is persistent, overwhelming, or is interfering with their everyday life, it might be helpful to seek support from a trusted health professional, such as a GP or psychologist.
You are doing an important job in guiding your child through a complex world. There is no perfect way to do this, but being present, compassionate and attentive will make all the difference.
