Kiddipedia
By Elly Both
Trying to fit our energetic, creative, and enigmatic ADHD kids into a box can be frustrating for us and disheartening for them. Let’s support our kids to embrace their uniqueness and unlock their superpowers!
An ADHD diagnosis can bring up all sorts of emotions and lead to asking ourselves a lot of questions. For some parents a diagnosis can bring feelings of guilt and shame. That might sound like “Why my kid?”, “It’s not fair”, or “There’s something wrong with me.”
For others, it can be a refreshing realisation. This might sound like “Ah that makes so much sense!” or “Oh, so THAT’S why my kid struggles with that!” which can bring feelings of relief and understanding.
As someone who was diagnosed in my early 40’s, my experience was, thankfully, a positive one. Following the assessment process, and subsequent diagnosis, a lot of the feelings of guilt and shame that I’d experienced throughout my life seemed to fade away. That little voice in my head which was constantly telling me that I wasn’t smart or asking, “Why can’t you just focus?!” also started to fade out. A lot of things suddenly made sense!
Adopting new labels
I began to see the way my brain works as something positive. Rather than see it as “broken” or “messy”, I decided to relabel it as “creative”, “quick”, and “hyper-focused” on things I love! (Like writing!)
I thought that if I could reframe my diagnosis in that way, then perhaps others who may have been struggling with their diagnosis could also benefit from this perspective.
I thought back to when I was a kid and wished I had known more about how my brain worked. If I could help to give kids this different perspective earlier on in life, that could be a game-changer for them!
I wanted to share my experience with who might be having a tough time with focusing or sitting still or maybe grappling with their diagnosis, to help them realise that what they are experiencing is perfectly natural. I wanted to tell them that their brains simply work differently from others – and that we can embrace the unique way our brains work to unleash our superpowers!
So, one day I decided to write about it! The result was my book – “A Kids Book About ADHD”.
I also wanted to share with parents and other grownups that sometimes our kiddos are really trying as hard as they can – it’s just that their brains are sometimes struggling to keep up or are running fast and far ahead.
If we can help our kids to focus on the positives, whilst recognising the challenges, we can help them harness their strengths and develop their superpowers.
Here are my 3 tips for seeing your kid’s ADHD as a superpower:
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Accept our kids exactly as they are
Trying to fit our energetic, creative, and enigmatic ADHD kids into a box is a lost cause. It’s frustrating for us and disheartening for them.
Accepting and embracing their uniqueness and the way they are, whilst not easy, can be a freeing experience for all involved.
We can do this by allowing them sufficient time and space to move their bodies, talk and shout, and choosing to do the activities they love. We can also loosen the rules on some of the less important areas (watching TV upside down, anyone?), whilst keeping structure and boundaries where they are needed. This will likely look different for everyone, so determine what works best for your family.
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Foster their interests and strengths
ADHD is a bit of a misnomer in that it is not actually a lack of attention. It’s an interest-based nervous system, meaning that attention can be easily directed towards something of interest. This explains why ADHD brains can be easily distracted!
So then, encouraging ADHD brains to focus on something that is enjoyable for them can help to foster greater concentration. This might be drawing, writing, reading, playing or listening to music, or in some way creating, and this is what I call their superpower!
If your kid already has a keen interest in something, brilliant! Our job now is to foster that superpower and encourage them to develop that skill even further.
If our kid doesn’t know their interest area yet, we can help them figure it out. When a kid doesn’t respond because they’re deep in hyperfocus mode, take note of what they’re focusing on. What is it that brings them into that state, and how can we foster that time for developing their skill?
For example, one of my kids loves to write comics. If left to his own accord, I’m sure he would quite happily create stories, develop characters, and design the pictures all day! This is something I want to help him foster because he clearly loves to do it.
By allowing them time and space to explore what comes naturally to them, we can help them develop their ability, as well as their confidence and self-esteem.
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Talk about the challenges
I’m not here to sugar coat anything and say that everything about ADHD is a wonderland – it’s not. No doubt our kids experience a laundry list of challenges, and that’s perfectly natural with an interest-based brain.
The best way we can help them to deal with the challenges is by being honest. Asking about the things they find difficult, and just being there to listen, can help our kids to feel seen, heard, and understood. By doing this, we are letting them know that we accept and love them just as they are – and this helps them to understand others too.
Growing up, I struggled to pay attention in class and would often drift away into daydreams. It wasn’t for lack of trying – I really did want to sit and listen. It was simply because I had a brain that worked differently to other kids.
It’s only in talking about these challenges that we can foster understanding and acceptance, both within ourselves and in others.
Now that I understand more about how my brain works, I can accept and love my brain just as it is. I also want to help others to embrace their unique brains too!
Whilst there are challenges that come along with ADHD, I believe that when we identify and foster our strengths, these can become our superpowers! And how cool is that!
Elly Both is a newly published author having recently released her first book, “A Kids Book about ADHD” through A Kids Co.
Diagnosed with ADHD in her early 40’s, Elly has transformed her personal journey into a source of empowerment, not only for herself but for young minds grappling with similar experiences. The book aims to redefine ADHD for young readers, encouraging them to see ADHD not as a hindrance, but as a superpower that provides them with a unique way of seeing the world and existing in it.
“A Kids Book about ADHD” is available from leading online retailers, including Booktopia and Amazon. Connect with Elly at ellyboth.com or on Instagram
