Raising Great Teens
Whether we like it or not, exams come with the territory of school. For many teens and their families, this can be a time of stress and anxiety. While we can’t change how often schools test, we can help teens cope with the pressure of exams.
Here are 6 signs your teen may be experiencing exam stress, and what you can do to help:
1. Finding it hard to concentrate
Does your teen sit down to do schoolwork, or revision but not actually get anything done? Do they flit from one task to another or seem fidgety?
To help:
Show them how to break down their work into small chunks. Instead of reading over all their notes, encourage them to break them down into paragraphs. Read one paragraph and make a note of the key point. Encourage them to write something—anything—and remind them it doesn’t have to be the final answer, just a starting point.
2. Irritability
Have you noticed that your teen gets easily annoyed at you, others, or even themselves? They may be more argumentative than usual or less inclined to share or help others.
To help:
Gently tell them you’ve noticed they don’t seem like themselves and appear more irritable. Remind them it’s normal to feel more stressed and easily annoyed during exam time. Work together to create a plan of action for when they feel this way.
For example:
- Play with the family pet
- Step outside for a few minutes of air or movement
- Spend five minutes alone in their room without interruptions to take a few deep breaths
- Talk it out with you or a friend
3. Trouble sleeping
Have you noticed that your teen is still awake when you say goodnight, or that they find it harder to get up in the morning? It’s not just the amount of time they spend in bed that matters—the quality of their sleep is also an important indicator of stress.
To help:
Agree on and stick to a consistent bedtime, including weekends during exam season. Start a wind-down routine at least 30 minutes before bed. On the weekend before exams begin, try to keep the schedule free of activities to allow for rest and relaxation. Ask how well they slept: “Do you feel refreshed?” “Do you feel well rested?” This can open up a conversation about how you might be able to help and create an opportunity for self-reflection on their sleep routine and general health.
4. Anxiety
Is your teen anxious? Anxiety is a normal part of exam stress and can sometimes be helpful in motivating study and learning, but it can also become a hindrance. It may look like crying more often, changes in eating habits, withdrawing from family and friends, or spending more time alone.
To help:
Encourage your teen to take time out for relaxing activities and regular short breaks. Releasing anxious energy can also be helpful—go for a walk, run, play sport, or dance to music. Or moving their body in any way that feels helpful. Remind them that exams are not an all-or-nothing situation. Share resources where they can find tips and support for their mental health that are youth friendly such as headspace.org.au, au.reachout.com, youngminds.com. and unicef.org/adolescentmentalhealthhub
5. Avoidance
Does your teen avoid schoolwork, revision, or people? Avoidance is a normal stress reaction to fear. Sometimes they may not even realise they’re doing it—writing endless lists, “getting organised,” tidying their room, or spending time on electronics to change a playlist or finish a game level.
To help:
Talk to them about avoidance being a normal response to fear but explain that it is unhelpful and increases stress in the long run. Sit with your teen to help them get started with studying and encourage them to push through the urge to avoid. Keep electronics out of sight and on silent to reduce distractions. Establish a set time for homework and study for the whole family or encourage your teen to invite a friend to study with.
6. Thinking ‘What’s the point?’
Your teen may be their own harshest critic, leading them to say unhelpful things about failing or not being as good as others. This negative thinking can quickly spiral into feelings of “what’s the point?”
To help:
Shift the focus of their goals. Instead of aiming only for grades, encourage them to see exams as a chance to learn which study techniques work best and which subjects they enjoy most. This is an opportunity to experiment with different approaches and build confidence. By the time final exams arrive, they’ll be more familiar with the process. After each test, ask: “What worked well for you when preparing?” “What should we change next time?” “How were your stress levels, and what can we try differently?”
Final Thoughts
Exam stress is common, but with the right support, teens can learn to manage it in healthy ways. Recognising the signs early and offering practical strategies can make a big difference in their confidence and wellbeing.
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