Kiddipedia

Kiddipedia

Mother’s Day: breakfast in bed, handmade cards and lots of cuddles – that one day your children make you the most important person in the world for a few minutes!  A special morning for many mothers, but what about the mothers who don’t get to see their children on Monday’s Day?  How do they get through the day with all the Facebook posts from others? Is this still Mother’s Day for them?

There can be many reasons that children are not with their mother on this special Sunday morning – the parent may work away, the children might be travelling or, the most common reason that I have seen over the years is that the children are with their other parent on this morning.  Many families dispute the time arrangement for their children after separation and sometimes these ‘’special days’’ are forgotten about in negotiations.  For many, a quick weekend swap will resolve the issue, but for others this is not possible, and attempts at negotiations fall on deaf ears.

As a Mother you need to be reassured that you are important and that this day is still your day, so here are some tips on how to get through the day without your children:

  1. Acknowledge the emotion when you wake up, if you are sad that your children are not with you, then feel this emotion. Cry if you need to.  Feel the anger if that is there and find a way to release it. A hot shower and tears for sadness, a letter writing and burning task for anger or even just screaming into the pillow works wonders.
  2. Put your social media away for the day. Seeing all your friends and family post pictures of their morning with their children will not help you, so focus on what your day is going to look like.
  3. Call your children, if a phone call is possible. Do this as early as you can as your children will be wanting to say ‘’Happy Mother’s Day’’ so make this call for them and for you.
  4. After this contact with them, you might need to repeat step 1, which is ok. Emotions need to be listened to and released, so head back to that shower or run yourself a bath with some oils and candles.
  5. Celebrate you and this is the most important part of the day. Have this planned and make sure you follow through with it. This might be a half or full day at a day spa, maybe a walk on the beach, a trip to the movies (Gold Class of course!), an afternoon nap or Netflix and wine in bed all day.  As a mother, you have possibly forgotten what it is like to take some time out for yourself, so get excited for this and make it happen.
  6. Celebrate twice. When the kids return to your care, take a second day to celebrate with them. For this second day, ask them what they want to do.  Remember in weeks or years to come you will remember the special time you had with your children, not what day of the week it fell on.

It will be a tough day without your children but by acknowledging this and planning for it, there just may be a silver lining that you can find and maybe even a new pair of shoes!

To all the mummies out there, enjoy YOUR day.

 

Donna has been working as a qualified Psychologist at The Couch Therapy for over 16 years.  She works with children, adolescents, adults and couples.  Donna has written a self-help book called “Managing Your Stress Cup” and has a podcast “On the Couch with Donna Cameron”.  Donna’s aim is to take the fear out of mental health by providing her clients with practical workable strategies.

 

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